i'm kaleb, and this is my vent blog. it's a place to pour out some of my bad feelings. my main struggles are gender dysphoria, depression, drug abuse, and self harm, so please don't follow if you could be triggered by this content. i'm trying my best to be okay.dysphoria
Mis-gendering usually feels like a punch to the stomach, especially when its on purpose.
("Meditation for Gender Dysphoria and Anxiety," from Eff-to-Em)
Thanks for the mention, Slash Pile! Go read all of these comics. And then come back next Wednesday because I love you.
I feel so wrong and disgusting right now… Why did my body have to betray me like this. Part of me wants to make an appointment with my endocrinologist but most of me just wants to throw up and cry ok goodnight
i just read a quote on my dash and thought of this
being trans isnt being a “man trapped inside a woman’s body”, it’s more complicated, and more personal. To me, it’s mix of being detached from my body, like it isn’t mine and I’m watching it live from outside, and feeling like my current look is like a skin I need to shed, like a costume I can’t take off. It’s hard, and it hurts, and even though I know that those feelings might never completely go away even after hormones and surgery, just reducing them a little would be enough. Because when you feel like your body isn’t yours, you don’t care about it, and you don’t care if it’s hurt, or you care too much because pain is one of the only thing that makes you feel connected to it.
I’m slowly learning to take better care of myself and my body, because I want myself to be happy and safe.
blahhhh why do I have no motivation or ambition to do things
I wanna do all these important activist things and contribute to communities and fight for causes that are important but I waste so much time being completely useless
i couldn’t even fucking wake up for most of this week without being babied by friends or something
I can’t keep missing classes, especially women and gender studies because that’s just sad
I constantly go between being extremely anxious about all the things I have to do and literally not giving a shit. There is no in between, and it’s so exhausting and frustrating.
— L.L (via fleurthorn)
(Source: , via petalpunches)